Although an interest in style often belies an interest in Mike Piazza's weekend plans with Longines, knowing what to wear and when to wear it can solidify a return trip to an office or a bedroom, allowing you to stand out from the chump who looks like he should be starring on True Life: I Star On MTV's 'Jersey Shore' And Will Be Living On The Streets As Soon As The Country Decides To Abandon The Petting Zoo That Is My Life. Even when you're just throwing something on to run out to the store, putting a little time into your get-up is important. You never know when you'll run into somebody worthy of a good impression.
Some of the most basic "don'ts" that Hunter and Hampton live by are as follow:
1) Cargo shorts are a no-go. As a principle, you should never be carrying such an abundance of objects in your pockets that the front two are not sufficient. The days of extracting your collection of Magic cards from your lower left pocket are over. You are not a sorcerer.
2) Tap-Out/Affliction shirts are not cool. As far as impressions go, you never want to make somebody fear that you'll throw him into a star choke and proceed to shove your crotch into his face until he can no longer function due to the lack of oxygen in his brain.
3) Stay away from over the top, intense sunglasses such as Oakley Gascans. You are not Robo-Cop.
Hopefully, you don't read this and glance at your spring break suitcase in disdain, but if you do happen to find some of these items in your bag, you still have a couple days to burn everything you own and reinvent yourself into a respectable human being. (As a note, Hunter and Hampton do not like to declare that many "do's" when it comes to fashion because part of looking good involves allowing your personality to manifest itself through your style. However, they do have have some suggestion you may want to take on board if you are looking for some guidance.)
Here's a quick selection of some of the bathing suits that Hunter and Hampton will be wearing over spring break in The Bahamas. Admittedly, the Parke and Ronen "designer swim-wear" is a little avant-garde, but if you have enough money and an exorbitant amount of confidence in your quads, you may be in for some raucous evenings on the beach with an assortment of reputable young ladies.
No cargo pants? Pat's going to be real perturbed.
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